On March 25th of 2021, Georgette Tsagaris (@gettelag) posted the following on Bitclout.com:

What came in the next 48 hours was a storm unlike anything the internet had ever seen. Andy Artz (@artz), Social Capital investor, inquired on @gettelag's post, asking if she wanted the cash in BitClout or USD.

It was around this time that BitClout Pulse reached out to me personally. They asked how much money it would take invested in my account to get a tattoo of their logo on my ass.

BitClout Pulse's Logo

Now, I'd like to tell you I thought long and hard about how much money it would take for me to get a brand on my ass... but that's unfortunately not the case. It took me a total of five seconds before "$50,000" was typed and sent. It was official: my ass had a market cap of $100,000.

Within minutes I got a DM from BitClout Pulse on their Discord:

"yo...

really?"

We negotiated out a contract, and within a few hours I signed it - then, two installments of $25,000 from two investors were invested into my Creator Coin. Suddenly, my Wallet was worth over $50,000 in USD.

The next morning, I went to Rocket Tattoos in Chicago, and handed over the BitClout Pulse logo design. I explained to them my situation, and they were more than happy to help me brand my body. I won't spare you the details, but people say getting a tattoo on your butt hurts so badly... and they are completely right. Especially when it's in front of your girlfriend/new business partner.

Within half an hour, I had a 1"x 7" tattoo on my right ass cheek.

Now I know - this sounds like a silly story about a stupid kid who decided to get a tattoo on a whim for $50,000. But there is so much more to BitClout than $50,000 tramp stamps. I did what I did not because I wanted to take the money and run, but because I wanted to prove the legitimacy of this platform. Because I believe in it. I wanted to show others that I was ready to fully support BitClout, and they need to ask themselves if they're ready too. So I posted this:

Ah yes... my bare ass. How do you think I feel?

Within minutes, I was receiving comments and kudos across the platform, as high-profile Silicon Valley investors admired my ass. This was the calling that the people needed. This was my Braveheart moment. I put my ass on the line (no pun intended), and boy, did it pay off. I saw my ass across all of BitClout, Twitter, and even on Instagram. Soon after, I was verified on BitClout, and I realized for the first time the gravity of my situation: I was the first BitClout influencer.

Now... I have no idea what that means, and most likely you don't either. But it means something, right? With a great ass comes great responsibility, and all that bullshit. But right now, I have an opportunity to turn BitClout into a worldwide phenomenon. I'd be an idiot to turn down that opportunity.

God help the clout-seeking influencers that will follow in my asssteps, all seeking to push the limits of their own bodies and dignity for more BitClout. Will there emerge a subculture of people with bodies like NASCAR vehicles? Masochistic millionaires hurting themselves for .0003765 coin? Naming your child after your top investor? The possibilities are endless!

But - no matter what the future may hold, I will go forth to the financial frontier with billion-dollar buns, a rear with a helluva ROI, a cash-flow-generating caboose, wearing my ass on my sleeve and turning my eyes toward the moon.